LIES, DAMN LIES & CORPORATE CULTURES

The impetus for this blog is Bill, a consummate liar. He brags that he has been ever since he was old enough to show teeth. His father would remark, “Son, you’d lie when the truth sounds the best,” which Bill would have to admit, was absolutely true.

However, he was rarely forced to confront this dilemma after his initial discovery that the truth NEVER sounds better than a well-constructed, fully-illustrated, goose bump evoking morality tale, also known as a Damn Good Lie (DGL). What old Dad would never know was, Bill’s singular talent for not letting the truth get in the way of a good story would become his single greatest asset, leading to repeated corporate successes for over three decades (and counting.)

And now, in a wonderful twist of ironic reinvention, he now tells his story as a cautionary tale and himself the protagonist against the TRULY dishonest companies that have surfaced over the last few decades, many of whom he has had the questionable pleasure of working with, or for. Now, when compared to the actions of Enron, Global Crossing, Adelphia and the rest, Bill seems almost quaint in his suit of homespun bullshit. He has gone from Liar to Leader, without the requirement of any personal evolution.

Like many others, Bill has also learned that there is an amazing freedom that comes with the opening line, “I am a liar.” Alas, even self-confessed liars know that identity (or honesty) is not something they care to expose, so you and I, as narrators, must be absolutely honest in relaying the raw facts of any event we know about - sardonically producing an unencumbered truth.

At the outset, it’s apparent that many of the people illustrating these stories are likely to recognize themselves and will possibly view these words as ranging from offensively blunt to outrageously libelous. And, while Bill would relish the former, strict adherence to underlying facts of each example will keep us safe from the latter.

Ultimately, I suspect they will take most offense from the ANALYSIS of their generally unseamly behavior than from the behavior itself. (Personally, I take gleeful satisfaction in the First Amendment… and so should they!) In fact, I urge everyone who believes they have a personal association with characters in these stories to seek out a crowded room and yell, “liar!” at the top of their lungs, before going merrily along their way, secure in the knowledge that they have effectively undermined its credibility. Luckily for all of us, the real power of a story lies not with the storyteller, but in the unvarnished reality illuminated by the words and the inner truths that we reveal to ourselves in relating to them. Bill may be a liar – there is no guarantee of the truth to illustrate a story -- but that doesn’t mean you won’t see the truth of it, anyway. In fact, isn’t it true that often the truth is easier to see when wrapped in a good lie -- you just have to know what to look for.

This blog is written on behalf of those who have had the audacity, or just bad luck, to peek into a company’s cockpit, even if only for a moment, and is now unable to shake off the vision of wild-eyed monkeys in 4-button suits, wearing red clown noses and Rolex watches, gleefully throwing their own feces at one another. “These guys are in charge?” you gasp, “How are they flying the plane?” Mumbling to yourself, stumbling your way back to your coach-class workspace, you find little comfort in your new knowledge. Only much later does the BIG question hit you, “How did these bozo-monkeys get to be pilots in the first place?” How indeed?

While one picture may be worth a thousand words, a Damn Good Lie (DGL) can be worth hundreds of thousands of dollars on today’s market. And, since a DGL is often as valuable in its perpetuation as it was in its inception, you don’t even need to create a DGL to profit from it. Frequently, simply knowing the identity and purpose of its original author and leveraging it judiciously yields major results. Learning to spot a DGL is a powerful tool in itself, even if you don’t happen to aspire to the position of Damn Good Liar.

So, if you have story about a DGL that you like to share, this is the place to do so. That's right - breath out and let it go... welcome.